Changes

Hi friends! Notice anything different? I went ahead and made the changes I discussed in my previous post. Unfortunately, because I changed my URL all of bloglovin' followers are gone :(. It's fine though, hopefully after reading this post most of you will click that little button down below and I'll be back to where I was in no time!

I'm excited about the changes! It feels like a clean slate. My biggest challenge will be consistency and confidence. I know I'll get there eventually.

As far as updates go, I've started physical therapy again! I've been going twice a week for a few weeks now and I'm loving it so far! Don't get me wrong, it's hard and painful but I know it has to be like this before I start seeing results. I'm hoping to get in some aqua therapy classes too! It's all so exciting! For the first time in a long time it feels like things are moving in the right direction.

If you follow me on social media then you know that my Dad has cancer. Since his diagnosis we've had our ups and downs with his care but he's finally in an amazing facility and getting the care he needs. I have so much going on with my own care but somehow I've managed to care for him as well as myself, thanks to the support of family. Dad and I got so lucky. :)

I have been very busy with all of our appointments lately but I still manage to spend time with family and friends when I can. My cousin is getting married in a couple weeks and I'm so looking forward to the wedding and seeing all of my family from near and far again. Sooner than that I'll be going to Passover dinner at my Aunt's house this weekend. Some of my fondest childhood memories are playing "hide the matzo" with my siblings at my Aunt's house.

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I'm so happy to be in a place where I feel like change can be good. The fear and pain will always be there but I'm choosing not to let it control me anymore. I deserve so much better than that.

Thank you so much for reading this and I truly hope you choose to stick around. :)

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Motivational Monday | Picking Up the Pieces

In my last post I mentioned how overwhelmed I've been feeling. Although retail therapy is a great release of stress, it's also just temporary.  When I'm feeling like everything is falling apart I try to remember all the coping mechanisms I have stored away to help me get through it. Sometimes they help, and sometimes they don't.

I know that hiding under a rock or sleeping the day away is not going to fix my problems. Addressing them and moving forward is what needs to be done. I got horrible new last week regarding my disability issues and it could mean there will be a lot of changes coming my way. Change is hard, especially when it's not welcome. After taking a few days to hide from my  problems, I finally tackled what needed to be done. Thank goodness for my Mom, she can be really tough on me when I need it.

I know that whatever happens I'm going to be okay. Things may not be going the way I planned them to be but I'm going to learn from this experience and move forward. It's time to pick up the pieces and not give up.

I've lost enough weight for surgery and have already had an MRI to assess how my injury is looking. Now it's time to wait some more and pray for good news. Living life with chronic pain is really hard but I need to keep living. It's going to get better. :)

 

I hope you have a great week!

It's Okay

I've taken yet another blogging break and I'm totally okay with that. I realized that I'm not an everyday blogger right now. Life is moving right along and I don't have much to talk about these days.

Learning to let things go and be okay with certain things has always been a struggle for me. This journey I'm on with dealing with an injury and waiting for surgery is hard. Maintaining everything is hard. I'm learning to be okay with the fact that things aren't always going to go the way I want them to and I need to keep moving forward.

Last week sucked. I had my weekly weigh-in with Jenny Craig and I gained! I was heartbroken. So many questions and so much disappointment. I cried off and on all day. The stress and pressure to lose weight for surgery finally broke me. I'd like to say I'm losing weight to get healthy and fit and although that is a plus it's not why I'm losing the weight. I'm doing this to qualify for surgery and finally be pain free.

After a lot of thinking I finally realized that it's okay that I had a gain. It's all part of life right? There are going to be ups and downs with everything. I need to just keep moving forward and go with the flow. It'll all work out. I know it.

This weeks weigh-in was a little different than my past ones. Although I wanted a loss, I knew that I'd be okay with whatever I got. I have worked so hard these past few months. It's time to stop second guessing myself.

I ended up losing the most weight I have since I started the program and made up for last weeks gain. :)

I'm not sure why I gained or if it even matters at this point. Staying consistent is going to be my main focus. The pounds will come off on their own. Consistency will be my biggest focus.


I can do it.

My thoughts are kind of all over the place right now so this post may not make the most sense but putting them down on "paper" is such a benefit to me. I can't wait to look back and see how far I've come.

Hope you're having a great week!

Motivational Monday: Bossy Pants

Many nights I lay in bed thinking. Sometimes the pain won't let me sleep and I start thinking about everything I had done that day and mostly what I have to do the next day. I'm a worrier. I worry about everything. But last night was different, last night I started thinking about my blog and all the great ideas I had for posts. One thing that I couldn't get my mind off of was a picture I saw on Facebook the other day:

 

I was that little girl being told she was bossy all the time. My Mom said I get that quality from her. I'm a planner, a doer and I really like things to be done a certain way. When I started working in high school and even into my first job as an adult this idea of me being bossy was one of my biggest insecurities. I would go out of my way to make sure I wasn't being bossy. It was hard and probably deterred my growth in the companies.

 

When I was 19 I was working in a retail store and because of the quick turn around with employees I ended up becoming the Senior Sales Associate. What that meant was that all the new employees were encouraged to come to me for training and help. I had never led any training before so I just showed them what I knew. In no way was I trying to be bossy. I was just doing my job. This eventually led to a talk with the Assistant Manager that the girls were complaining about how bossy I was. I couldn't believe it. This further deepened my insecurity.

My job at the Museum is one of the best jobs I have ever had. I had never worked somewhere where growth and the sharing of ideas was so encouraged. Most of the heads of the divisions and the departments are women. They're bossy women too. I began to think how this idea of being bossy wasn't such a bad thing. I've always been a leader and loved that quality about myself. I never realized that being passionate, ambitious and often times pretty OCD made me who I am. If those qualities make me bossy then I'll go ahead and let people call me that. No more insecurities. I'm proud of what I have accomplished for myself. Mrs. Bossy Pants at your service. ;)

 

Hope you have a great week!