It's Okay

I've taken yet another blogging break and I'm totally okay with that. I realized that I'm not an everyday blogger right now. Life is moving right along and I don't have much to talk about these days.

Learning to let things go and be okay with certain things has always been a struggle for me. This journey I'm on with dealing with an injury and waiting for surgery is hard. Maintaining everything is hard. I'm learning to be okay with the fact that things aren't always going to go the way I want them to and I need to keep moving forward.

Last week sucked. I had my weekly weigh-in with Jenny Craig and I gained! I was heartbroken. So many questions and so much disappointment. I cried off and on all day. The stress and pressure to lose weight for surgery finally broke me. I'd like to say I'm losing weight to get healthy and fit and although that is a plus it's not why I'm losing the weight. I'm doing this to qualify for surgery and finally be pain free.

After a lot of thinking I finally realized that it's okay that I had a gain. It's all part of life right? There are going to be ups and downs with everything. I need to just keep moving forward and go with the flow. It'll all work out. I know it.

This weeks weigh-in was a little different than my past ones. Although I wanted a loss, I knew that I'd be okay with whatever I got. I have worked so hard these past few months. It's time to stop second guessing myself.

I ended up losing the most weight I have since I started the program and made up for last weeks gain. :)

I'm not sure why I gained or if it even matters at this point. Staying consistent is going to be my main focus. The pounds will come off on their own. Consistency will be my biggest focus.


I can do it.

My thoughts are kind of all over the place right now so this post may not make the most sense but putting them down on "paper" is such a benefit to me. I can't wait to look back and see how far I've come.

Hope you're having a great week!

Wordless Wednesday | Rediscovering

Over the last two years dealing with my back injury I put on a good deal of weight. All my clothes eventually ended up in storage and sadly, yoga pants and oversized shirts became the norm.

 

With my recent weight loss I've pulled some clothes out of storage and I'm having so much fun shopping in my own closet!

 

My favorite band shirt and comfy skinny jeans made a come back!

I paired an Old Navy cardigan and Lane Bryant boots with some old staples I'm so happy to be wearing again.

 

Hope you have a great Wednesday!

Motivational Monday: My Journey...So Far

I'm back! Lol. I really am this time! I finally got a new computer and it's small enough for me to carry everywhere and be comfortable on the couch when my back is really sore. :)

I've been pretty busy lately! It's mostly due in part to getting a good handle on my depression. I've been able to cope better and losing weight has definitely boosted my confidence. That's right, this girl has lost 22lbs! Yay! I've been on Jenny Craig since September 24th and I've been loving it. It was really hard at first but like anything new, it takes some getting used to.

I plan on posting before and after pictures eventually, but I think I'll wait until I reach one of my goals.

 



Right now I'm keeping busy with trying to walk at least three times a week. Working through the pain is difficult but I'm getting through it. :) My Dad is finally getting a good hold of his health issues and my husband and I are taking turns with helping him get to his appointments and run errands. I never realized how hard it would be trying to take care of myself and my chronic pain while also trying to help my Dad deal with his issues. Tough stuff! It's all part of the journey I guess.

 

This has really been resonating with me lately. I am doing it.

I can finally say I see an end in site and with a few more pounds to lose I'm almost there! Once I reach my weight loss goal I'll be getting ready to meet with a surgeon. I've exhausted all my recovery options these past two years and I'm looking forward to finally feeling like something might work.

 

It feels so good to be back blogging and finally catching up with my dear friends in the blog world. I've missed you! Stay tuned for Wednesday's post!

 

Hope you have a great day!

A Start

I've officially been on Jenny Craig for almost three weeks now. The first two weeks were rough on me.

I went from eating two to three times a day (I know that's bad!) to now eating six times a day! I was so full my first week and breakfast was the hardest meal to get down. I've never liked eating right after I wake up. Now I don't have a choice. Fortunately, things have began to take routine and I'm no longer feeling full or having a hard time eating in the morning. 

My first two weigh-ins were not ideal. I went up 0.8 oz my first week and down 0.4 oz my second week. I've been following the program exactly and have no results yet. I knew after consulting with my doctor that the pain meds I'm taking would slow down my metabolism. Even though I do everything I can to manage my pain on my own. I still need medication to keep me moving and not bed ridden. 

I've been encouraged by my doctor and Jenny Craig counselor to try to walk as much as I can. Last week I walked a total of 40 minutes in two days! That's a big deal for me! However, this week was so much harder. 

I walked on Monday for about 15 minutes and noticed towards the end that a flare up was coming on. Flare up for me means spasming in my lower back and radiating pain down my legs. When I got home I laid down and iced my back as usual. The next day I woke up in horrible pain and have been getting flare ups that have been lasting the majority of the day. Today is three days since my walk and I am still recovering. 

As much as I want to lose this weight, I know that my health is more important. I'm going to start limiting my walks to 10 minutes or less a day and see how that works. It's a start and will give me a chance to see how my body reacts and when I'll be ready to do more. 

I hope you're having a wonderful day!

My Mom Came and Good News!

I can't believe it's been over a month since my last post! I've been so behind on blogging lately! This past month has been busy! Since everyone loves pictures, I thought I'd give you an update with some of the pictures I've taken this past month.

At the beginning of September my Mom came for a visit and spent 2 whole weeks here! It was so wonderful having her here for a longer trip.

 

First order of business was to make her wonderful homemade carrot cake! So good!

Lots of family time! Here we are with my younger brother, Matt.

We spent some time with my Aunt Toby (Dad's sister).

I snapped some pictures of the decor at the restaurant we had lunch at with my Aunt.

My beautiful Mom at lunch. So lucky to have her in my life.

We also had a great time chatting on my Aunt's back patio. 

She lives in a beautiful Spanish-style home in the Hollywood Hills.

It was so wonderful having my Mom here for so long this time. I'm now counting down the days until December when she'll be back. :)

Soon after my Mom left town I got the news that I've been waiting for! I get to start Jenny Craig! As some of you may know, my upcoming surgery is contingent upon me losing the weight I've gained since my injury. It was the best news I've received in a long time! I've been on the program for almost two weeks and it's going well. It was really hard at first to train myself to eat 6 meals a day every 2 hours! I was always full and all those veggies were not making me feel too hot at first. Now that I'm in my second week of the program, I have a good routine and feel like I'm making good strides to lose the weight. 

Some of the yummy food I get to eat on Jenny Craig!
French Toast with Berries and Vanilla Yogurt.

Of course with anything new there has been some anxiety. I have found comfort in the support of my husband and my parents and know that whatever the results of this program may be I'm going to be okay. I plan on talking more about my experience here on the blog and I'm very excited to be sharing this part of my journey with you!

Happy October!