Motivational Monday: Bossy Pants

Many nights I lay in bed thinking. Sometimes the pain won't let me sleep and I start thinking about everything I had done that day and mostly what I have to do the next day. I'm a worrier. I worry about everything. But last night was different, last night I started thinking about my blog and all the great ideas I had for posts. One thing that I couldn't get my mind off of was a picture I saw on Facebook the other day:

 

I was that little girl being told she was bossy all the time. My Mom said I get that quality from her. I'm a planner, a doer and I really like things to be done a certain way. When I started working in high school and even into my first job as an adult this idea of me being bossy was one of my biggest insecurities. I would go out of my way to make sure I wasn't being bossy. It was hard and probably deterred my growth in the companies.

 

When I was 19 I was working in a retail store and because of the quick turn around with employees I ended up becoming the Senior Sales Associate. What that meant was that all the new employees were encouraged to come to me for training and help. I had never led any training before so I just showed them what I knew. In no way was I trying to be bossy. I was just doing my job. This eventually led to a talk with the Assistant Manager that the girls were complaining about how bossy I was. I couldn't believe it. This further deepened my insecurity.

My job at the Museum is one of the best jobs I have ever had. I had never worked somewhere where growth and the sharing of ideas was so encouraged. Most of the heads of the divisions and the departments are women. They're bossy women too. I began to think how this idea of being bossy wasn't such a bad thing. I've always been a leader and loved that quality about myself. I never realized that being passionate, ambitious and often times pretty OCD made me who I am. If those qualities make me bossy then I'll go ahead and let people call me that. No more insecurities. I'm proud of what I have accomplished for myself. Mrs. Bossy Pants at your service. ;)

 

Hope you have a great week!

 

Moving forward...

That's been my mantra through these last few months. I'm still injured and in pain everyday but I can't just stop. I need to keep moving forward. Because I'm dealing with a work related injury, I've decided to keep a lot of the details out of the public eye until this is all over. All I can say is I hope those who read this will send lots of good vibes and prayers that I get better soon.

This month will officially mark one year with this injury and not being able to work. :(

My husband has been an angel throughout this whole process and I am so grateful to have him around to take care of me. I want to be that lovely wife who cooks his dinner and cleans the house but because of my injury I can't do any of that. It's been so hard on the both of us especially because my injury happened two weeks after he came home from a 8 month long training. All the places we talked about going and all the things we have wanted to do have been put on hold because I can't walk or sit for long periods of time.

I will just keep praying and hoping that somehow I will get better and start building our lives the way we had envisioned. I can't wait to be healthy enough to start a family and travel all over the U.S. looking for our "forever" home.

I hope this explains a little as to what I've been going through and I hope you can keep me and my husband in your prayers as we get through this very trying time in our lives.

Hello again!

It's been some time since I've posted! Mainly because a lot has happened since my last post.

My husband came home the beginning of October and it was one of the best days ever!

Minutes after seeing him for the first time in months!

Home sweet home!

It was so great and he is so skinny now! Lol. We took lots of time to catch up but I had to share him with all his friends and family that missed him so much.

Two weeks after he came home I had to go on a weekend overnight camping trip, fossil hunting with the museum. It's a great trip that I love being apart of but I didn't want to leave my man!

Things were going well on the trip until the main fossil hunting day (Saturday) came. Because of my existing back problems I knew I had to take it easy. I decided to hike up a small hill to get a better view of all the participants (make sure no one wanders off!). I made it all the way up the hill just fine and then as I was reaching the top I slipped on some loose rock, twisted my body to catch myself and plopped on the ground. I got back up and sat on the perch and stayed there! It wasn't until I was ready to get up that I noticed my back was killing me! It was so bad I didn't know if I could make it back to all the vehicles. With lots of pain I finally made it back and I knew something was really wrong. This was back pain I had never felt before.

I made it back to the campsite and went straight to my tent to ice my back. I felt so bad that I did this to myself and that I could no longer "actively" work this amazing trip.

Sunday I finally made it home and I couldn't walk straight. I took a few days off work until I realized things weren't getting better. I attempted to go to work and had to be wheeled to my car because I could no longer walk. The pain was so bad. I made it to my doctor where I had to get a shot of morphine to calm the pain. This was the beginning of what my life would be like these past 6 months.

A workers compensation claim was filed with my work and I saw 5 urgent care doctors all saying I had a lower lumbar sprain and sending me back to work. I was still in so much pain that I finally convinced the insurance company to send me to a specialist and get a MRI done. December (two months after my injury), we found out that I have two herniated discs in my lower back. The pain started radiating down both of my legs. The specialist prescribed physical therapy and after 20 sessions and 3 months later, I am finally meeting with a neurosurgeon at one of the best hospitals in Los Angeles.

I've only heard good things about this type of surgery and I'm praying that all goes well and I get this done soon. I've never been away from work this long in my working life. I've gained weight, lost a lot of muscle strength and unfortunately became pretty depressed. I'm disabled, I can't walk without a cane or go shopping without a wheelchair.

My husband has been amazing and his homecoming was perfect timing. I couldn't get through any of this without him. I'm so blessed to have him here to help me.

So there is my story of how I got here. In between I let life happen. My husband and I celebrated our 1st wedding anniversary and our 7 year anniversary only a couple months later. Because I'm on disability, I've been spending lots of time with my fur baby Rocky. He keeps me company and gives me lots of cuddles when I'm not feeling well.

I'll be catching you up on more of life events as they happen. Right now I'm just waiting to get my life back. I can't wait!