Moving forward...

That's been my mantra through these last few months. I'm still injured and in pain everyday but I can't just stop. I need to keep moving forward. Because I'm dealing with a work related injury, I've decided to keep a lot of the details out of the public eye until this is all over. All I can say is I hope those who read this will send lots of good vibes and prayers that I get better soon.

This month will officially mark one year with this injury and not being able to work. :(

My husband has been an angel throughout this whole process and I am so grateful to have him around to take care of me. I want to be that lovely wife who cooks his dinner and cleans the house but because of my injury I can't do any of that. It's been so hard on the both of us especially because my injury happened two weeks after he came home from a 8 month long training. All the places we talked about going and all the things we have wanted to do have been put on hold because I can't walk or sit for long periods of time.

I will just keep praying and hoping that somehow I will get better and start building our lives the way we had envisioned. I can't wait to be healthy enough to start a family and travel all over the U.S. looking for our "forever" home.

I hope this explains a little as to what I've been going through and I hope you can keep me and my husband in your prayers as we get through this very trying time in our lives.

Blogger App and Randoms

Since I've been home with my injury I've been spending a lot of time on my iPod touch. It's no iPad but it does the job. My laptop is a bit too bulky when I have to lie on my back :/. I decided that I would get the Blogger app and see how well it does. So far so good!

Today is another lazy day. I usually stick to one errand a day because it's pretty painful getting around. But there are no errands today!

Tomorrow my husband and I will be taking Rocky to my Dads house. My dog Rocky has some separation anxiety issues that we have been working on. Unfortunately, we can't leave him home alone without him barking the whole time. So we're going to leave him with my Dad while we head over to my appointment with my neurosurgeon on Monday morning.

I'll keep you posted on how that goes. I'm praying that this surgery happens sooner than later! This experience has really taught me how precious our bodies and health are. I will get healthy after this and do everything I can to strengthen myself for good.

My husband and I talk about starting a family all the time. It may take a little longer to start because of my health but I'm hoping next year will be our baby making year!

There are my Randoms for the day! I hope you enjoy your weekend! :)

Hello again!

It's been some time since I've posted! Mainly because a lot has happened since my last post.

My husband came home the beginning of October and it was one of the best days ever!

Minutes after seeing him for the first time in months!

Home sweet home!

It was so great and he is so skinny now! Lol. We took lots of time to catch up but I had to share him with all his friends and family that missed him so much.

Two weeks after he came home I had to go on a weekend overnight camping trip, fossil hunting with the museum. It's a great trip that I love being apart of but I didn't want to leave my man!

Things were going well on the trip until the main fossil hunting day (Saturday) came. Because of my existing back problems I knew I had to take it easy. I decided to hike up a small hill to get a better view of all the participants (make sure no one wanders off!). I made it all the way up the hill just fine and then as I was reaching the top I slipped on some loose rock, twisted my body to catch myself and plopped on the ground. I got back up and sat on the perch and stayed there! It wasn't until I was ready to get up that I noticed my back was killing me! It was so bad I didn't know if I could make it back to all the vehicles. With lots of pain I finally made it back and I knew something was really wrong. This was back pain I had never felt before.

I made it back to the campsite and went straight to my tent to ice my back. I felt so bad that I did this to myself and that I could no longer "actively" work this amazing trip.

Sunday I finally made it home and I couldn't walk straight. I took a few days off work until I realized things weren't getting better. I attempted to go to work and had to be wheeled to my car because I could no longer walk. The pain was so bad. I made it to my doctor where I had to get a shot of morphine to calm the pain. This was the beginning of what my life would be like these past 6 months.

A workers compensation claim was filed with my work and I saw 5 urgent care doctors all saying I had a lower lumbar sprain and sending me back to work. I was still in so much pain that I finally convinced the insurance company to send me to a specialist and get a MRI done. December (two months after my injury), we found out that I have two herniated discs in my lower back. The pain started radiating down both of my legs. The specialist prescribed physical therapy and after 20 sessions and 3 months later, I am finally meeting with a neurosurgeon at one of the best hospitals in Los Angeles.

I've only heard good things about this type of surgery and I'm praying that all goes well and I get this done soon. I've never been away from work this long in my working life. I've gained weight, lost a lot of muscle strength and unfortunately became pretty depressed. I'm disabled, I can't walk without a cane or go shopping without a wheelchair.

My husband has been amazing and his homecoming was perfect timing. I couldn't get through any of this without him. I'm so blessed to have him here to help me.

So there is my story of how I got here. In between I let life happen. My husband and I celebrated our 1st wedding anniversary and our 7 year anniversary only a couple months later. Because I'm on disability, I've been spending lots of time with my fur baby Rocky. He keeps me company and gives me lots of cuddles when I'm not feeling well.

I'll be catching you up on more of life events as they happen. Right now I'm just waiting to get my life back. I can't wait!

A Quickie

I don't have much time to post because I'm at work but wanted to provide a quick update...

I moved into my new apartment and I love it! It's so much quieter and feels like home. I'm in love! I've already started hanging pictures and decorating (I didn't do these things in my other place because I hated living there!). My family and in-laws have been so wonderful while my husband is still away. I am so grateful to have such a wonderful group of people in my life.

Wan is still not home but things are moving along and we're crossing our fingers for his return VERY soon! I can't wait to have him home. I miss him so much!

Work has been very busy and I'm preparing and helping organize 3 family field trips in the month of October! This is by far the best part of my job. Going out in the field and doing research with scientists is awesome! I'll post pictures of the October excursions soon. We'll be taking a trip along the San Andreas Fault, fossil hunting with Paleontologists and digging for marine fossils! I'm very excited for my 3rd season of these trips!

I'm getting together with two of my girlfriends tonight. One of them, Devereau, has been getting her masters degree for 3 years in Florida and we've had very little contact. It'll be a nice reunion. And then there's Stephanie one of my closest friends. I'll be sure to get a picture of the three of us tonight! I'm excited to go out and be social. It's been a while!

So there's my quickie! Lot's going on! Will post more soon....

A Fresh Start

I've decided today that whatever happens with my life I will look at it from a new perspective.

I've been able to text and talk to Wan daily and that definitely has been helping me feel less lost in this whole thing.

So today I'm going to start fresh. I'm going to start blogging about things that I truly enjoy talking about and stop sharing all my drama with you all. As much as it helps me to write it out, I know that airing out all my "personal" laundry may not be the best for me or my husband. I will still be updating things about my husband, especially when he comes home! Yay!

This past weekend I went out shopping for some dresses to wear when my husband comes home. Wan and I are very into the retro style and love going out to rockabilly shows and having fun at some of our cities retro hangouts. So here are the two amazing dresses I got that I feel so wonderful in!

 The dress I'm wearing on the day he comes home!
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The "just because" dress
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I'm so excited to get all dolled up for my man and feel that sigh of relief once he's back home in my arms. <3

So this is the last week I'll be living in the apartment with the noisy neighbor! Yay! I'm getting the keys for our new unit in the building on Friday. I'm looking forward to finally unpacking everything and getting settled in. I've also made sure that there are no noisy neighbors around! It'll be nice for Wan to come home to some peace and quiet.

With this new place comes new adventures and a feeling of renewal. I plan on cooking and baking a lot more here (in the old place I've only cooked once on my stove!). I want to bake lots of comfort food like filled pastries, cakes, cookies and many more yummy savory melt-in-your-mouth goodness! I love the smell of baked goods in a house, it makes it feel like a home.

The hubby and I also plan on buying a new couch, tv and KING size bed! We definitely need a King bed and I know it will bring us many nights of peaceful comfort :).

I'm going to also catch up on lots of reading. I love books! I love the feel of them, the smell of them and the comfort of just settling in on the couch with some good entertainment. I've purchased a couple books this past month that I want to read...but first, I MUST finish Twilight's Breaking Dawn. I've been so bad about this book that I need to finish it before the movie comes out. I think I'm going to start on it tonight, hopefully I can finish it soon. Next I want to read Water for Elephants and Horse Soldiers.

It's time to focus on myself a little and stop feeling sorry for myself! I have it so much better than some and I need to be grateful for this life I have. Hoping for good news with my husband soon and an all around better look through these eyes.

Where I Left Off

It's been quite some time since I've posted anything here. Not that I've forgotten, this journey has been a non-stop roller coaster since my husband left. Honestly, I don't know where to start or how much I should share. I guess I'll start where I left off with some of the milestones...

Once Wan got to basic I was able to settle in to things pretty quickly. His company got a Facebook page so I was able to see pictures and connect with the family members pretty easily.
I was looking for our first place together as a married couple. I could not find anything that was in our budget! This just added to the frustration and stress I was experiencing. I kept a lot of this from my husband for a while because I didn't want him to worry or get distracted from his training. I was finally able to find an affordable place in our budget and moved in June 1st! I was so happy and thought things were finally going to settle into place...

Night one at the apartment I noticed my bedroom wall was against my neighbors living room. He's a young guy who LOVES loud rap music! It was horrible, I ended up sleeping in the living room for quite some time after too many confrontations with him to the point that I'm scared of him. It's a horrible situation that I hope to never find myself in again. Thankfully we just got approved for another unit and are set to move in September 1st!

Like I said...my life is a roller coaster!

Along with the stress of Wan being gone and the apartment, I found myself having severe side effects to the cortisone injections I got to treat my back pain. It made my Cortisol Hormone (manages metabolism, stress, etc.) sky rocket so bad that I was crying ALL the time! I thought I was going crazy because I could not control my crying. It was embarrassing and affected my work and social life a lot. Thankfully my doctor was able to treat it and my supervisor's at work were very understanding.

I decided to tell my husband what was going on and I'm glad I did. He was very supportive and did his best to give me comfort and kind words. He's so amazing. I'm very luck to have married my best friend. His training is going great and we are only a little ways away from being together again! It's been a long 6+ months and I am so ready for him to be back home.

My husband has lost over 50lbs while at FLW and I am so proud of him!

My handsome man <3

I know it's hard to include what's been going on in my life the past 6 months but I hope this has shed some light on this crazy ride I'm on. I am so blessed and grateful for these experiences and I know I will learn so much from all of this.

I can't wait to be back with my husband again and continue on this journey...through these eyes ;)

Bad Timing

Well my husband officially started basic training on Tuesday. I got two letters from him when he was in reception, and luckily two phone calls the day he left for Basic. I miss him like crazy. I hear it takes a few weeks to let things set in but man does it suck not having him here! Welcome to the Army!

Things were going well for a while. I was getting motivated to work out and I started calorie counting again. I was feeling so good about getting healthy and losing weight and then the worst happens...again! Two years ago I was diagnosed with arthritis in my lower back. After months of excruciating pain I had a surgical procedure done that took away most of the pain. I was so happy and relieved. The procedure heats up my nerves to stop them from sending the pain signal to my brain. It was supposed to last 6 month to two years. Well that was two years ago so I guess I had a good run! On Wednesday I started experiencing back pain that I thought was normal everyday arthritis pain and that it would go away. Well the next day it was still there and continuously getting worse. I've been icing it, taking meds, you name it I've been doing it to try to get rid of the pain. The only cure? Lying flat on my back. It's horrible! I've been in bed since Friday and I'm going crazy here!

I finally figured that the pain wont go away until I get another procedure done. I made an appointment with my doctor for next Thursday. Until then, I need to suck it up and deal with it. I cant miss anymore work and I need to keep busy for my sanity! It's horrible timing, just when I was feeling motivated and not depressed about my husband not being here I get hit with this! Just my luck.

I just wish I could get a break and have all the pieces fall into place for once. I'm going to attempt to leave the house tomorrow and try to be productive. I have no idea what I'm going to do if the pain increases. I need to go to work!

I've been writing Wan letters everyday he's been gone and I know he's going to want to know everything that is happening at home. My letters have been inspirational and all that stuff he needs to survive there but I wanted to tell him about my back and that I'm taking care of it. I told him not to worry that I was going to be fine. I have no idea how he's going to take the news but I hope it doesn't affect his progress. He needs to stay completely focused on his training.

I still have no address so I can't send him any of my letters yet, he has no clue what's going on here. That's okay though. He's in red phase and needs to be completely focused. I can't wait to get his address! It'll be so wonderful to have some kind of communication with him.

I miss him so much! I don't have too many people to talk about it with here, facebook has been my emotional outlet lately. It's become an obsessive thing with me, stalking his companies facebook page for updates and pictures and joining Military Spouse groups to read about women missing their soldiers so much they cry every 5 minutes! It's pretty crazy out there in facebook land. I can't wait to see those pictures though. It's going to be so great!

Well there's my pity story for the week. I hope my next post is happier and that I'm still continuing on my journey to be the best person I can be. I cannot wait for this back pain to go away and my husband to be in my arms again. :)