Roller Coasters

Being a grown up is hard. Decision making is the worst, especially when it's about your health. How do we ever know if we're making the right decision? This post is going to be cryptic but I need to get this out.

I'm thinking about it like this: it could be worse. I mean life can always be worse. So with this decision being made I could FINALLY be on the road to getting better. Or it could just delay things for a lot longer than I hoped. Man, if only I could see into the future. I have made my decision, but I'm scared to say it out loud. It's 10:30pm on a Wednesday night and I'm racking my brain over it. Textbook over-thinker right here! I'm going to make the call tomorrow and get the wheels turning. Once things are finalized, I plan on sharing my story here in hopes that I can help others who may find themselves in my position one day (hope not!).

I've consulted with the family and professionals and it looks like everyone is on the same page for the most part. I know life is a roller coaster and this ride has been bumpy! It'll be nice to get on the kiddie ride soon and not have to deal with so much of the scariness all at once. A break is much needed.

I don't know if this post will make sense. I just wanted to get on here and write. If you're reading this and believe in the universe or a higher power, I would love if you could put in a good word for me. Until next time loves! Hope you have a great week!

My Hiatus Explained

Did you miss me?! Lol. I haven't posted in quite some time and thought I would hop in and give a bit of an update.

After my accident in late February I went into a bit of a funk. The accident shook me up emotionally and it just made my anxiety with driving a lot worse. My husband and I went on a search for a new vehicle and once we found it, I didn't even drive it off the lot! Lol. Eventually I got more comfortable driving again and I really love all the fancy features of the car (hello sunroof!).

After the car issues, I've just been dealing with some health issues and trying to take each day as it comes. I did some traveling with family in April and May to Las Vegas and Arkansas. Traveling is hard with an injury, however I was able to communicate with airline staff a lot better this time than when I have traveled in the past. Before, I would have been too shy or embarrassed to ask for help but not this time and it was so worth it. For the most part I managed okay and my sister and mom were so accommodating when I had a visit with them. Being with your loved ones is so good for the soul. I'm very lucky.

My sister and I in windy Vegas

Mom and I on our adventure in Arkansas meeting family

Here's a little example of the measures I take when traveling:

A portable heating pad saved me both with my stomach and back aches and pains. I rely on a plug in one at home multiple times a day so discovering this little gem was such a blessing! Just trying to live as normal of a life as I can with chronic pain.

A couple weeks ago I had my 30th birthday. My best friend of 19 years made it so special for me once again. We spent a few hours at the beach during the day and enjoyed a quiet dinner with our gentlemen that night. It was a no fuss kind of day and just what I needed.

These milestone birthdays can sometimes be a bit daunting for some, at least for me this one was. Did I ever think I would be living this life when I turned 30? Absolutely not. It's just one of life's gentle reminders that things don't always go as planned. Every year I always hope that this will be my year of recovery. That living with chronic pain will be part of my past and my husband and I can finally start a family. Sadly, I know this year will be just another year in the books of my living with chronic pain journey. Like I said before, times are tough right now and this planner and worrier is doing the best I can to take each day as it comes.

I miss blogging and I miss sharing things here but life is complicated and I can't know for sure when my next post will be.  Hope you'll stick around. Looking forward to getting back to reading as well, to see what my favorite bloggers have been up to.