A Fresh Start

I've decided today that whatever happens with my life I will look at it from a new perspective.

I've been able to text and talk to Wan daily and that definitely has been helping me feel less lost in this whole thing.

So today I'm going to start fresh. I'm going to start blogging about things that I truly enjoy talking about and stop sharing all my drama with you all. As much as it helps me to write it out, I know that airing out all my "personal" laundry may not be the best for me or my husband. I will still be updating things about my husband, especially when he comes home! Yay!

This past weekend I went out shopping for some dresses to wear when my husband comes home. Wan and I are very into the retro style and love going out to rockabilly shows and having fun at some of our cities retro hangouts. So here are the two amazing dresses I got that I feel so wonderful in!

 The dress I'm wearing on the day he comes home!
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The "just because" dress
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I'm so excited to get all dolled up for my man and feel that sigh of relief once he's back home in my arms. <3

So this is the last week I'll be living in the apartment with the noisy neighbor! Yay! I'm getting the keys for our new unit in the building on Friday. I'm looking forward to finally unpacking everything and getting settled in. I've also made sure that there are no noisy neighbors around! It'll be nice for Wan to come home to some peace and quiet.

With this new place comes new adventures and a feeling of renewal. I plan on cooking and baking a lot more here (in the old place I've only cooked once on my stove!). I want to bake lots of comfort food like filled pastries, cakes, cookies and many more yummy savory melt-in-your-mouth goodness! I love the smell of baked goods in a house, it makes it feel like a home.

The hubby and I also plan on buying a new couch, tv and KING size bed! We definitely need a King bed and I know it will bring us many nights of peaceful comfort :).

I'm going to also catch up on lots of reading. I love books! I love the feel of them, the smell of them and the comfort of just settling in on the couch with some good entertainment. I've purchased a couple books this past month that I want to read...but first, I MUST finish Twilight's Breaking Dawn. I've been so bad about this book that I need to finish it before the movie comes out. I think I'm going to start on it tonight, hopefully I can finish it soon. Next I want to read Water for Elephants and Horse Soldiers.

It's time to focus on myself a little and stop feeling sorry for myself! I have it so much better than some and I need to be grateful for this life I have. Hoping for good news with my husband soon and an all around better look through these eyes.

Where I Left Off

It's been quite some time since I've posted anything here. Not that I've forgotten, this journey has been a non-stop roller coaster since my husband left. Honestly, I don't know where to start or how much I should share. I guess I'll start where I left off with some of the milestones...

Once Wan got to basic I was able to settle in to things pretty quickly. His company got a Facebook page so I was able to see pictures and connect with the family members pretty easily.
I was looking for our first place together as a married couple. I could not find anything that was in our budget! This just added to the frustration and stress I was experiencing. I kept a lot of this from my husband for a while because I didn't want him to worry or get distracted from his training. I was finally able to find an affordable place in our budget and moved in June 1st! I was so happy and thought things were finally going to settle into place...

Night one at the apartment I noticed my bedroom wall was against my neighbors living room. He's a young guy who LOVES loud rap music! It was horrible, I ended up sleeping in the living room for quite some time after too many confrontations with him to the point that I'm scared of him. It's a horrible situation that I hope to never find myself in again. Thankfully we just got approved for another unit and are set to move in September 1st!

Like I said...my life is a roller coaster!

Along with the stress of Wan being gone and the apartment, I found myself having severe side effects to the cortisone injections I got to treat my back pain. It made my Cortisol Hormone (manages metabolism, stress, etc.) sky rocket so bad that I was crying ALL the time! I thought I was going crazy because I could not control my crying. It was embarrassing and affected my work and social life a lot. Thankfully my doctor was able to treat it and my supervisor's at work were very understanding.

I decided to tell my husband what was going on and I'm glad I did. He was very supportive and did his best to give me comfort and kind words. He's so amazing. I'm very luck to have married my best friend. His training is going great and we are only a little ways away from being together again! It's been a long 6+ months and I am so ready for him to be back home.

My husband has lost over 50lbs while at FLW and I am so proud of him!

My handsome man <3

I know it's hard to include what's been going on in my life the past 6 months but I hope this has shed some light on this crazy ride I'm on. I am so blessed and grateful for these experiences and I know I will learn so much from all of this.

I can't wait to be back with my husband again and continue on this journey...through these eyes ;)

Bad Timing

Well my husband officially started basic training on Tuesday. I got two letters from him when he was in reception, and luckily two phone calls the day he left for Basic. I miss him like crazy. I hear it takes a few weeks to let things set in but man does it suck not having him here! Welcome to the Army!

Things were going well for a while. I was getting motivated to work out and I started calorie counting again. I was feeling so good about getting healthy and losing weight and then the worst happens...again! Two years ago I was diagnosed with arthritis in my lower back. After months of excruciating pain I had a surgical procedure done that took away most of the pain. I was so happy and relieved. The procedure heats up my nerves to stop them from sending the pain signal to my brain. It was supposed to last 6 month to two years. Well that was two years ago so I guess I had a good run! On Wednesday I started experiencing back pain that I thought was normal everyday arthritis pain and that it would go away. Well the next day it was still there and continuously getting worse. I've been icing it, taking meds, you name it I've been doing it to try to get rid of the pain. The only cure? Lying flat on my back. It's horrible! I've been in bed since Friday and I'm going crazy here!

I finally figured that the pain wont go away until I get another procedure done. I made an appointment with my doctor for next Thursday. Until then, I need to suck it up and deal with it. I cant miss anymore work and I need to keep busy for my sanity! It's horrible timing, just when I was feeling motivated and not depressed about my husband not being here I get hit with this! Just my luck.

I just wish I could get a break and have all the pieces fall into place for once. I'm going to attempt to leave the house tomorrow and try to be productive. I have no idea what I'm going to do if the pain increases. I need to go to work!

I've been writing Wan letters everyday he's been gone and I know he's going to want to know everything that is happening at home. My letters have been inspirational and all that stuff he needs to survive there but I wanted to tell him about my back and that I'm taking care of it. I told him not to worry that I was going to be fine. I have no idea how he's going to take the news but I hope it doesn't affect his progress. He needs to stay completely focused on his training.

I still have no address so I can't send him any of my letters yet, he has no clue what's going on here. That's okay though. He's in red phase and needs to be completely focused. I can't wait to get his address! It'll be so wonderful to have some kind of communication with him.

I miss him so much! I don't have too many people to talk about it with here, facebook has been my emotional outlet lately. It's become an obsessive thing with me, stalking his companies facebook page for updates and pictures and joining Military Spouse groups to read about women missing their soldiers so much they cry every 5 minutes! It's pretty crazy out there in facebook land. I can't wait to see those pictures though. It's going to be so great!

Well there's my pity story for the week. I hope my next post is happier and that I'm still continuing on my journey to be the best person I can be. I cannot wait for this back pain to go away and my husband to be in my arms again. :)

It's not goodbye...

I just got the call...the scripted call telling me that he arrived safely and will call me when he can. These past few days have been hard. I didn't actually cry until last night when we left the hotel he was staying at...this is the first time in years that we have been apart. 5 months is a long time without your other half. So many women before me have done this and I know I'll get through it. It'll just be some getting used to and changing the habit of knowing he will always be there (literally).

I talked to him on the phone all day today, when he was at LAX to when he got to St. Louis. I even got to talk to him on the 2 hour bus ride to FLW. He texted me right before he got there so I was prepared to receive that call. This is so surreal. I cant believe he is there. We have been expecting this for months now and talking about all our plans and for it to be actually happening is a little overwhelming.

I swear to you, I fall in love with him more and more everyday. He makes me a better person and I am so proud to stand by his side. I asked him to see if he can take a picture of him wearing his ACU's. I can't wait to see him in that uniform! Cliche I know, but I always wanted to be with a man in uniform. That uniform comes along with a lot. I hope to God I am ready for this.

So now I need to start living my life without him here. I want to do some scrap booking of the wedding pictures and start walking daily after work (Rocky will love that!). I work at the Natural History Museum so I'll be keeping really busy with the summer camp starting and weekend programs. A lot of my co-workers are naturalist's so I'm hoping they can take me hiking. There is a great hike to the top of the Hollywood sign, I would love to do that! Hopefully I don't pass out during this "active" hobby of mine. I'm a little sensitive to exhaustion!

I can't wait to get another call from him. <3

Army Wife

It's official! I'm an Army Wife! We got married on Sunday, January 30th and I got my military id card the next day. It's been wonderful. Being married is so much better. It's like our love for each other has grown so much more. There's an appreciation there that I never thought we could have. I got really sick this past week and he has been there for me every step of the way. Making me laugh at the doctors office, making me soup (in the microwave of course!), driving me around when I've been too out of it to focus on anything, it's been pretty great having him as my HUSBAND. I love that word now!! Some pictures from our big day...

Everything worked out so great that day. He looked so handsome and my dress fit perfectly. My sister did my hair and makeup and I couldn't have asked for a better look! I'm very happy. :)

We have been trying to spend lots of time together since he will be leaving in 7 days for his OSUT training at Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri. OSUT is another Army acronym that I cant ever remember but it means he will be doing his basic training and job training at the same place. Meaning only one graduation...in 5 months! I'm going to miss him more than words can explain but this will be so good for us. He is starting a career that will take care of us and our future family together. I'm so proud of him. I'll post pictures soon of this whole process.

It's not goodbye, it's see you later....

5 days!

I am getting married to the love of my life in 5 days! Everything is coming together nicely. I've got the dress, shoes, veil, even the beautiful blue crinoline (petticoat) to go under my dress! I am so happy. Surprisingly I'm very mellow and not stressed out at all. I'm nervous and anxious because I don't know what to expect, but no stress! Yay!

This is what I bought...

My dress:

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My shoes:

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My crinoline:

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I also bought a 3/4 sleeve cotton bolero to wear with the dress that my mom will be adding satin ribbon and flowers to so that it matched my dress.

I know those heels are high but I am prepared! I bought some cute white flats for the moments that I wont be on camera or walking down the aisle!

One thing I haven't bought yet is the "wedding night" ensemble...I am not one to wear sexy lingerie. Actually, I'm on the other side of the spectrum! Wan will appreciate it and encourages me to go "out of the box" sometimes but this is one shopping experience that I'm actually dreading. I don't know how to be sexy, let alone look it! With all that said I'm going to attempt to find something that he will appreciate and make our wedding night as special as it can be. Wish me luck!

Overall I'm very excited and can't wait to start this amazing journey with my husband by my side...

Bummer...

This past week has been crazy. I never thought so many people would be so excited that I'm engaged. It's been pretty amazing. I work at the Natural History Museum and a lot of my co-workers are my facebook friends. Once I went FBO (facebook official) with my engagement I've been stopped everywhere at work with people telling me congrats.

For someone who doesn't get a lot of attention...it's pretty nice. :)

Unfortunately, with all the wedding planning and congratulation happy hours I got sick. Total bummer! Wan has been sick the past week and was getting over it while we were in San Diego. Since I got sick a couple weeks ago I thought I was immune and everything was fine. Think again...I have a sore throat and a stuffy nose. I'm so bummed out.

Don't worry though, I will still go dress shopping this weekend and be happy that I am going to marry the love of my life next Sunday.

My sister has been planning our whole Vegas weekend and we were able to get the same church my parents got married in. I am so excited about that. The Church of the West in Las Vegas has been around since the 1950s. Elvis and Ann Margaret walked down the aisle there in the movie "Viva Las Vegas", Billy Bob and Angelina got hitched there too! Hopefully our marriage doesn't end the way theirs did....

I get to prance around Vegas with a "Just Married" tiara and hopefully get some special treatment there. My sister is so excited I think she may get a tiara for herself too! I will definitely post pictures soon to show you what a crazy weekend I think it will probably be.

I have the most unconventional family. My mom and dad were only married for 5 years and got married when I was 2. However, they have remained friends and are very close to this day. I am lucky for that. My mom and dad had me and my two younger brothers in the span of 6 years. My sister was born 2 years before me and was about 16 months when my parents met. Although she is my half sister she is the best sister I could have asked for and I am so grateful to have her around. There are 6 of us in the immediate family and we are so blessed to have each other. The whole family has not gone to Vegas all together since I turned 21. It will definitely be an experience.

Along with my crazy family, my best friend of 14 years will be there and I am so happy that she is coming! We have been through so much together and within two hours of me telling her my wedding is next weekend she booked her hotel and dropped everything...she's amazing!

Wan's best friend Mitch is coming too and although Wan isn't one to express his emotions very well I'm almost positive that he is super excited about it! Mitch has been there for Wan through thick and thin for 11 years now. He even helped Wan get my engagement ring...so sweet! I am so happy he will be there.

So I'm going to beat this cold and be prepared for a lot of shopping this weekend. I'm hoping I can get a dress like this...

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Wish me luck!